Parenting Against the Norm: Navigating the Challenges of Natural Parenting in an Unnatural World
In today's high-speed and backward world, parenting from a biologically normal perspective can feel isolating and even scary at times. The reason for this is twofold.
First, our culture tends to leave new moms to fend for themselves, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Balancing household responsibilities, being a supportive partner, and the pressures of returning to work while meeting the biological needs of your baby can feel super challenging and lead you to question if you’re doing things “wrong”.
As natural parents, we already face numerous challenges in raising our children. But what makes it even harder is the constant stream of unsolicited advice and misinformation from others. It can feel overwhelming when we're being told to go against our own intuition and follow outdated traditional parenting norms that don't align with our values.
On top of trying to navigate the demands of daily life in a capitalistic society that doesn’t care about us, natural parents often find themselves fending off unwanted advice everywhere we turn. It's exhausting to constantly feel like you need to defend your choices. And all of this is happening while you're already dealing with hormonal fluctuations and feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, and isolation.
As a postpartum coach who focuses on mindset, my goal is to help you navigate the demands of modern parenting while also prioritizing your own needs and those of your baby. I understand how overwhelming it can be to balance your own values and instincts with the expectations of society. My goal is to help you tap into your intuition and build your confidence so that you can make informed decisions that align with your personal beliefs. With my guidance, you'll learn how to simultaneously tune in to your inner voice and tune out the noise of unsolicited advice and outdated parenting norms.
Because I want to help you prepare for potential challenges that may arise when choosing a natural parenting approach, here are five ways that these choices may feel more difficult than following societal norms:
Breastfeeding versus formula feeding
Breastfeeding is the biologically normal way to nourish your baby and it provides optimal nutrition and immunity. Unfortunately, in our culture, formula feeding is often viewed as more convenient or socially acceptable. Furthermore, a lack of information and support for breastfeeding mothers in the US leads to 60% of them not meeting their breastfeeding goals. To make matters worse, breastfeeding in public is still stigmatized and often discouraged, which can make it even more difficult to meet our personal feeding goals.
Sleeping arrangements
Another aspect of parenting that is often subject to judgment and misinformation is where we choose to have our babies sleep. Co-sleeping or bed-sharing can have numerous benefits for both the baby and the mother, including better breastfeeding outcomes and more restful sleep. However, our culture often encourages parents to have their babies sleep separately, even in a different room, which can make co-sleeping parents feel isolated and unsupported, or even as if they are doing something “wrong”.
Carrying your baby instead of using containers
Physical closeness between a caregiver and their baby is biologically normal and provides benefits for both. Carrying your baby can improve their balance and coordination, reduce crying and colic, increase feelings of security, and promote better breastfeeding outcomes. However, our culture often promotes strollers and other baby containers as a more modern or convenient option, and carrying a baby for extended periods may be seen as spoiling the baby.
Responding to cues instead of following strict schedules
Your baby communicates their needs through a range of cues like crying, fussing, or rooting, which is biologically normal. Responding promptly to these cues can regulate their physical and emotional needs and build a sense of security and trust. Prioritizing responsive caregiving can help your baby learn that the world is a safe place. However, in our modern world, parents who do so may face criticism or judgment from others who view it as spoiling the baby or being too indulgent.
Choosing positive discipline over traditional methods of discipline
By choosing positive discipline, parents can build a strong and trusting relationship with their baby, while also promoting healthy emotional and behavioral development. However, in our culture, traditional forms of discipline, such as spanking or timeouts, are often seen as more effective or necessary, and parents who choose positive discipline may face criticism or judgment for being too lenient.
It's important to note that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, and it's ultimately up to each individual family to decide what works best for them. I am not here to judge your choices, just as I hope that you will not judge anyone else’s.
However, for those who value biologically-informed parenting practices, it can sometimes feel isolating in a world that often prioritizes convenience over connection. If you find yourself wanting to balance these biological norms with the realities of modern life, I'm here to help.
