Mommin’ Aint Easy.

As a new mom, you might find yourself caught in a whirlwind of emotions and responsibilities. And sometimes you might secretly wish for your old life back. You know, the one when you could sit on your ass and do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted to do it. When you could just go pee without having to worry about a tiny thing crying.

Well, guess what? It’s completely normal to miss your old life. Do not feel guilty about it.

I'm an anxious mom.

I lost my first baby more than halfway through my pregnancy and went on to give birth to two IIVF miracles. I am eternally grateful for my two living children. Obviously.

And I hated my postpartum life. I was constantly overwhelmed and on edge and worried and lonely and tired and all the things. I struggled so much. It was hard. But I felt like an asshole to even admit to myself how hard it was, or to admit that yes, I sometimes missed my old life.

Because girl, you should just suck it up and be grateful.

But 13 years and lots of therapy and an entire library of self-help books later, I'm telling you —

Do not be like me.

Your feelings are ALWAYS valid.

Society wants you to believe that you should be endlessly grateful for the opportunity to have kids and to stay home with your kids if that's how it's played out for you. And while, yes, it’s an absolute privilege to do so, being home with a baby full-time isn’t easy for everyone. It’s okay if you sometimes (or oftentimes) feel overwhelmed, sad, frustrated, lonely, resentful – and all the things.

You’re allowed to be grateful AND to hate it sometimes, too -- guilt-free.

Motherhood is a huge responsibility that demands constant attention, nurturing, and emotional labor.

You have physical, mental, and emotional needs that deserve attention and care. You deserve time to recharge, rejuvenate, and take care of yourself. You have a right to time to yourself – time off from your very full-time job (whether or not you are earning a paycheck – because if you were, you’d be clearing well above 6 figures).

So here’s the thing – you need to avoid getting yourself into a situation where you are the sole provider of care and soothing for your baby. Because if it’s all on you, and you can’t trust that your baby will be okay when you’re not around, you will never have guilt-free time to breathe.

Anxious moms, especially, can have a hard time letting go of control. But this is something I encourage you to work through.

Involving your partner in the caregiving process from the start is essential. Because letting go of the reigns and trusting your partner and encouraging shared responsibilities will allow you to have occasional moments to breathe. Sharing the caregiving load benefits your own well-being and promotes a sense of connection and emotional support within your family. By fostering a strong bond between your baby and your partner, you’ll be helping to create a nurturing environment that ensures your baby's needs are met while also affording yourself the essential time for self-care and personal fulfillment.

Your feelings matter. Your needs matter. Self-care is essential, not selfish.

Join my 7-Day Anxiety-Free Postpartum Challenge below and I’ll send you a week of actionable steps you can take toward an anxiety-free fourth trimester.