Recognizing and Understanding Postpartum Rage
Updated January 27, 2025
Key Takeaways:
Postpartum Rage is Real – Postpartum rage affects many new moms and is often a response to feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. It's not a sign of being a "bad mom."
You’re Not Alone – Support is available. Whether through therapy, support groups, or holistic remedies like placenta encapsulation, there are many ways to help manage postpartum emotions.
Take Action Early – Proactively seeking support through resources like the free Postpartum Anxiety Risk Assessment can help identify early signs of anxiety and set you on the path to healing.
Most soon-to-be moms imagine the transition to motherhood as an exciting time filled with sweet baby sounds, cuddles, and snuggles. Unfortunately, expectations don’t always align with reality. As a new mom, you might find yourself dealing with an unexpected surge in anger and irritability. You might start to question your “good mom” status, but it's important to understand that postpartum rage is not only a symptom of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders, but also a clear indicator that you need more support.
What is Postpartum Rage?
Postpartum rage is a mood disruption characterized by intense anger, aggression, and agitation in the weeks and months (sometimes years) following childbirth. It’s more common than many people realize, and affects about 10-15% of us. If you’re experiencing postpartum rage, you might feel constantly frustrated and overwhelmed, as if you’re always on the verge of losing your shit. You might feel agitated with your partner, and maybe even wonder at times why you made a baby with them in the first place. You might lose your temper or yell more frequently than before you became a mom, and you might find yourself yelling at your pets or, worse, your baby. I’ve been there.
Postpartum Rage and Mental Health
While postpartum rage often coincides with postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum anxiety (PPA), it’s not solely a symptom of those conditions. The overnight shift in roles, the increased demands of new motherhood, and unrealistic societal expectations can create enormous stress for new mothers. New moms are often left home alone with their babies, with little support and a huge responsibility to figure it all out on our own. Postpartum rage, therefore, isn’t just a symptom, but a response to feeling overwhelmed and undersupported in the face of these huge challenges.
The reality is that postpartum anxiety and postpartum rage stem from societal and systemic shortfalls—expectations of new moms that are unrealistic and unkind. Sleep deprivation, lack of community support, and the mental load of motherhood can drive new moms into emotional distress, which leads to rage. Think of a pot of water left on high heat. The lid contains the boiling water for a while, but eventually it will boil over.
Dodging the Rage Bullet: How to Manage and Prevent It
While experiencing postpartum rage is common, there are steps you can take to help manage and reduce the intensity of your emotions during the postpartum period.
1. Me Time, ASAP
Self-care is not selfish; it's survival. Sleep, eat nourishing food, do things you enjoy, and force yourself to ask for help. Taking care of yourself first means you have the energy and patience to care for your baby.
2. Communicate Openly
Have honest conversations with your partner about your feelings and needs. Parenting is a team effort, and your partner needs to share the load—not just when they're not at work, but even when they are. You both have full-time jobs: they have their paid job, and you have your role as a full-time parent. Both roles require equitable time and effort. Both jobs are hard.
Check out the Fair Play documentary on Hulu for more on how couples can fairly divide the labor of parenthood.
3. Educate Yourself
Parenting classes aren’t just for learning how to swaddle a baby. They can provide you with realistic strategies for coping with motherhood. We are all parenting in an environment that bombards us with “how-to’s,” but much of the advice is rooted in outdated ideas. Make sure the information you’re consuming is realistic and compassionate, not rooted in unrealistic expectations of "perfection."
4. Build Your Task Force
Surround yourself with a supportive team—friends, family, or a support group. If you don’t have people who get it, it’s time to invest in outside help. Support groups, both online and in person, can help you feel heard and understood.
When Rage Rears Its Head: What to Do Next
Therapy: Seek Professional Support
If you’re struggling with postpartum rage, therapy can sometimes be a good option. Unfortunately, however, in the USA, it’s not always accessible to everyone. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy can work wonders for many new moms, and you can really do a lot of the work on your own through books and YouTube videos. Richard Schwartz, the founder of IFS has lots of books available, and I recommend this one for ease of reading — No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model. I also highly recommend anything by Kristen Neff. The focus of her work is on self-compassion, and it can be life-changing.
Medication, If Necessary
For some, postpartum anxiety or rage may point to deeper mental health concerns that require medication. Speak with your healthcare provider about options. On a personal note, after struggling with postpartum anxiety and rage for years, I turned to medication, and my life changed almost overnight. While medication isn’t the right choice for everyone, it’s an option that’s worth considering if it helps you get the support you need. You deserve to enjoy your baby, and your baby deserves a healthy mom.
Find Your People: Support Groups
Joining a postpartum support group can be invaluable. The shared experience of other mothers in the same boat can provide comfort and solidarity.
The Role of Placenta Encapsulation in Postpartum Healing
In addition to therapy and support groups, placenta encapsulation is another option for helping new moms manage postpartum challenges. The process involves drying and encapsulating the placenta, which can then be consumed by the mother for its potential health benefits. Placenta encapsulation has been linked to improving mood, boosting energy, reducing the likelihood of postpartum depression, and aiding in overall recovery.
Many women find placenta encapsulation helps balance hormones during the postpartum period and may provide relief from mood swings, anxiety, and fatigue. By incorporating this holistic remedy into your postpartum care plan, you can support your physical and mental well-being as you transition into motherhood. If this is something you’re interested in, and you happen to be in the South Jersey area, check out my placenta encapsulation services here.
The Bottom Line
Postpartum rage isn’t a sign of weakness, nor does it mean you’re a “bad mom.” It’s a signal that you need more support in managing the overwhelming demands of new motherhood. Whether you choose therapy, medication, or natural remedies like placenta encapsulation, or a combination of modalities, you do not have to suffer. There are plenty of options to help you manage this unpredictable time. Ask for help and reach out for the support you deserve.
If you’re struggling with postpartum anxiety or rage, I’ve been there, and I can help. The early days of motherhood can feel like a storm you’re just trying to survive, but you don’t have to do it alone. Take the first step in regaining control and peace by completing my free Postpartum Anxiety Risk Assessment.
This assessment is a simple, yet powerful tool designed to help you understand where you stand in terms of postpartum anxiety and mood challenges. It will guide you in identifying potential red flags and offer practical steps to get the support you need.
By completing the assessment, you’ll get some clarity on your emotional well-being. From here, we can work together to create a plan that supports your mental health, helps reduce the emotional burden, and sets you up to thrive as a mom.
You don’t have to wait until things feel out of control. Taking proactive steps now could make all the difference. Click here to take the Postpartum Anxiety Risk Assessment and start your journey towards feeling better, today.
