When Postpartum Anxiety Tells You to Do Less, Listen.

Let’s talk about something that’s been swirling around in social media: quiet quitting. You’ve probably heard the term—it’s when you do just enough to get by, stop going out of your way for others, refuse to overextend yourself, to reclaim your time and energy.

Now, let’s tie that into something new motherhood, specifically, and how it relates to postpartum anxiety. Because let’s face it: for neurodivergent moms, the constant demands of motherhood can feel like an all-out assault on your nervous system.

Here’s the truth: society has conditioned us to think that motherhood is a 24/7 hustle. “You got this!” they say. “Enjoy every minute.” But dude, that’s bullshit. The pressure to do it all perfectly while smiling is exhausting AND dangerous, especially when you’re at risk for postpartum anxiety or other perinatal mood disorders.

As a mom with ADHD or autism, your brain works differently. You likely get overwhelmed more easily than neurotypicals. You maybe can’t handle all the sensory overload, the constant decision-making, and the emotional labor that goes into caring for a newborn (or a toddler or even a preschooler, or in many cases your husband). It’s a lot.

Here’s what quiet quitting looks like for a postpartum mom:

1. It looks like setting boundaries (and sticking to them)
   If your partner, friends, or family expect you to do things you don’t want to do, maybe it’s time to quietly quit. You don’t need to engage in every social obligation or keep up with other people’s schedules. Set your boundaries and protect your mental health. “No” is a complete sentence. You’re in charge of your time. Set boundaries around it. Don’t let anyone take it from you.

2. It looks like ditching perfectionism
   You don’t have to do everything “right.” If the laundry doesn’t get folded today, it does not matter! If breakfast every day for months is Cheerios and a banana, that’s great. There’s no point in stressing yourself out about things that don’t matter to your or your baby’s survival. “Good enough” is always enough, but ESPECIALLY when you’re a new mom. Your well-being is the priority—not some BS capitalist-based standard of motherhood.

3. It looks like letting go of guilt
   Quiet quitting is also about rejecting the guilt that comes with stepping back. You don’t have to be supermom. You don’t have to have it all together. Neurodivergent moms often carry a heavy load of internalized guilt and shame—and the more you do, the more you burn out. The solution? Release the guilt. Focus on your needs and your baby’s needs. That’s it. You deserve to take up space and ask for what you need to be okay.

4. It looks like simplifying everything
   Sometimes, doing less isn’t just about saying no—it’s about simplifying what’s on your plate. For example, maybe you’ve created a “launch pad” near the door with everything you and your munchkin need to leave the house. No more last-minute chaos. Or, maybe you’ve set up baby-changing stations in multiple rooms, or maybe you use clear bins for things like baby clothes, diapers, or snacks so you’re not constantly hunting for things. Small shortcuts and removing friction in your day can free up mental space.

Quiet quitting isn’t about doing less to avoid responsibility—it’s about preserving your energy and protecting your mental health.

Quiet quitting is a radical act of self-care that says, “I deserve to be less stressed, less overwhelmed, and less burned out. And I deserve to enjoy being a mom.” And for neurodivergent moms, this is a must. You don’t need to follow the rules set by a world that wasn’t designed for you.

It’s okay to let go of the “shoulds,” to stop worrying about letting people down. By simplifying and minimizing, you make room for what really matters: your well-being and being present with your baby. You’ve got nothing to prove to anyone. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you can’t take care of your baby—and that’s the job that matters most.

Maybe it’s time to give quiet quitting a try. Do less, and thrive more.

You’ve got this. And if you ever need help working through it, I’m right here with the tools, strategies, and support to make your postpartum experience easier—and way less overwhelming.

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