Self-Worth And Postpartum Anxiety

Key Takeaways

• Postpartum anxiety thrives when self-worth is tied to performance. If you feel like motherhood is a test you have to ace, the pressure can be suffocating.

• A postpartum plan is a form of self-preservation. It should center on you—your mental health, needs, and identity beyond "mom."

• Certain risk factors increase vulnerability to postpartum anxiety. These include a history of anxiety or depression, sensory overwhelm, executive dysfunction, perfectionism, and birth trauma.

• Placenta encapsulation can be a helpful tool for postpartum recovery. Many moms report improved mood, energy, and milk supply.

• Ditch mom guilt and toxic productivity culture. Rest and recovery are essential—you don’t need to “earn” them.

• Self-care in postpartum is about survival, not luxury. Practical strategies like noise-canceling headphones, easy-access snacks, and lowering expectations can make a big difference.

• Preparation and support matter. Awareness is the first step, but having a plan and a solid support system makes the biggest difference in preventing postpartum anxiety.

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Let’s talk labels

Bossy. Shy. Smart. Loud. Aggressive. Too much. Quirky. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Girlfriend. Teacher. Fiancée. Wife. But the second I held my squishy little beast in my arms, the only label that mattered to me was Mom.

Immediately, being this baby’s mom became my sole identity. This label fit - this was the what I was born for. Because TBH, I didn’t really know myself before becoming this little guy’s mama.

And as a top priority, I proceeded to prove to everyone (including myself) that I was worthy of such a task…that I was good at being his mom. Because, shit, if being a mom was now my sole identity and my one true purpose, then I needed to get it right. Because if I got this wrong—like I had so many other things in my life—then did I even matter? As a neurodivergent individual, I’d spent 36 years believing there was something wrong with me. But now I know better.

In my quest to win my blue ribbon in momming, I took to Facebook where I was aggressive, opinionated, outspoken. Probably a little bit scary. A lot of an asshole. But the truth is that I never thought other moms were making the wrong choices—it’s that if I was so different, maybe I was doing it wrong.

I was parenting upstream, against the grain, and in a foreign land where I didn’t know anyone, didn’t speak the language, and everywhere I turned, someone was trying to tell me I was doing my one very important job wrong.

And that can be really unsettling. And lonely.

Postpartum anxiety thrives in the space where self-worth is tied to performance.

When everything feels like a test, like something you have to get right, the pressure can feel suffocating. The fear of failing as a mom feeds the cycle of overwhelm, intrusive thoughts, and exhaustion. But the truth is that the number one best thing you can do for yourself—and your baby—is to plan for your own well-being. And that includes being cautious not to tie your self-worth to your motherhood experience. So many factors are at play in the postpartum period, and it’s nearly impossible to predict how your postpartum will play out, but one thing I can tell you is that the more pressure you put on yourself to get it right, the higher your risk will be for experiencing postpartum anxiety. You really do need to create a postpartum plan that includes more than feeding schedules and diaper changes. Your postpartum plan needs to be centered on you—your mental health. Your needs. Your identity beyond 'mom.'

Today, thanks to a lot of therapy, prescription meds to manage my anxiety and ADHD, and a whole lot of hard work, I’ve realized that self-discovery and self-care are crucial to motherhood. Yet, they’re often the first things we overlook—especially for those of us who start this journey with low self-love and self-worth.

The truth is, low self-esteem is a major risk factor for postpartum anxiety, but so many of us work so hard to present ourselves as confident, badass women that we don’t even realize our self-worth is at rock bottom. And when that’s the case, it can be nearly impossible to prepare.

Here’s what I wish I’d known sooner about preventing postpartum anxiety and depression—especially as a neurodivergent mom:

1. Postpartum Planning = Self-Preservation

A postpartum plan has to be more than a checklist of baby gear and meal prep. Here’s what to include:

• Daily Survival Plan: What small, manageable routines will help you feel like you? (Think: a 5-minute morning reset, a sensory-friendly space, or a postpartum planner that works with your brain.)

• Emotional Support Team: Who are your people? Make a list of friends, family, or professionals who can hold space for you, not just the baby.

• Realistic Rest Strategy: Postpartum exhaustion is real. Set up a system to make sure you’ll get the rest you need—that might look like safe bed-sharing, split shifts with a partner, or a support person on call.

• Trigger-Proofing Your Environment: If clutter makes you spiral or too much noise overstimulates you, plan ahead. Create ADHD-friendly or sensory-friendly postpartum strategies.

📌 Want help mapping it all out? Take my free Postpartum Anxiety Risk Assessment to see what areas you might need to focus on.

2. Know Your Risk Factors for Postpartum Anxiety & Depression

Of course, not every mom will experience postpartum anxiety, but some are more vulnerable than others. Some risk factors include:

• A history of anxiety, depression, or PMDD

• Unmet sensory needs (hello, screaming baby while you’re already overstimulated)

• Executive dysfunction + newborn chaos (because postpartum doesn’t come with structure)

• Perfectionism & high expectations (trying to do it all + lack of control= instant burnout)

• Birth trauma or medical complications, previous pregnancy/infant loss or infertility

💡 Not sure where you stand? Take the free Postpartum Anxiety Risk Assessment and get clarity on your unique risks + prevention tips.

3. Placenta Encapsulation: A Tool for Postpartum Energy & Mood Stability

Postpartum fatigue is next-level and it’s not something you can truly understand until you’re in it. One of the evidence-backed ways to support your recovery naturally and holistically is placenta encapsulation.

While placenta pills are not a magic pills, the majority of my New Jersey clients report:
✅ More stable mood
✅ Increased energy levels
✅ Boosted milk supply

If you're curious, check out my South Jersey Placenta Encapsulation Services and see if it’s right for you.

4. Ditch Mom Guilt & Productivity Culture

Let me make this crystal clear: self-care, especially during your postpartum period is productive. It takes your body a full 40 days to recover from pregnancy and birth. This healing is necessary. You don’t need to “bounce back.” You don’t need to earn rest.

Try this:
✨ Say no to extra responsibilities you don’t have to take on.
✨ Delegate housework, baby duties, and mental load to your support team.
✨ Give yourself permission to do less and be enough anyway.

Self-care doesn’t have to be bubble baths and yoga. When you’re a burnt-out, sleep-deprived mom, self-care might look like:

• Setting up a one-handed snack station so you can eat while holding the baby.

• Using noise-canceling headphones to prevent sensory overload.

• Lowering your expectations for productivity and focusing on small wins (Did you drink water today? You win.)

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, know this:

💡 Awareness is the first step. Preparation is the second. And support makes the biggest difference.

🎯 Take the free Postpartum Anxiety Risk Assessment to get personalized guidance on how to protect your mental health postpartum.

🚀 Click HERE to take the assessment, and when you do, I’ll send you my free Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder (PMAD) Guide and Postpartum Planning Template to help you protect your mental health after baby arrives.