RSD and Its Impact on Postpartum Moms

What Is RSD?

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a heightened emotional response to perceived or actual rejection, criticism, or disapproval. It’s common among neurodivergent individuals, especially ADHDers. It’s that feeling you get when you walk into a room and think that everyone is wondering where you got the idea that you belong there. Unlike typical emotional responses, RSD can trigger seriously icky feelings of shame, humiliation, or sadness that may seem just a tad disproportionate to the situation.

In motherhood, where societal expectations, unsolicited advice, and judgment lurk around every corner, RSD can significantly impact our postpartum experiences. Recognizing and understanding this emotional phenomenon is important when you’re trying to navigate the challenges of early motherhood.

How RSD Manifests During Postpartum

Postpartum is a period of intense change and heightened emotion, which are ideal conditions for RSD to surge. Here are some ways it may show up:

  • Sensitivity to Criticism: Well-meaning comments about parenting choices, such as feeding, sleeping, or soothing methods, may feel deeply personal and triggering. Even innocent remarks can leave moms feeling judged or inadequate.

  • Fear of Disapproval: The desire to be seen as a "good mom" can lead to hypervigilance and anxiety about how others perceive parenting decisions, from family members to healthcare professionals.

  • Social Isolation: The fear of rejection or criticism may push moms to withdraw socially, avoiding situations that could trigger uncomfortable emotions.

  • Self-Criticism: Internalized societal standards can amplify feelings of failure when moms believe they’re not "doing it right."

Why Postpartum Moms with RSD Struggle More

Postpartum moms, especially neurodivergent ones, already face intense mental, physical, and emotional demands. When RSD is piled on top of these challenges, it can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and lead to a cycle of:

  • Increased Anxiety: Constantly second-guessing decisions to avoid potential disapproval.

  • Emotional Exhaustion: Frequent emotional dysregulation due to perceived rejection or failure.

  • Decreased Self-Esteem: Internalizing critical feedback and comparing oneself to unrealistic societal standards.

Strategies for Managing RSD Postpartum

While we can’t always control the intensity of RSD, there are thing you can do to help yourself deal with these feelings as a new mom:

  • Recognize Your Triggers: Keep track of situations that trigger RSD and notice patterns. Understanding what sparks your emotional responses can help you figure out strategies to manage them.

  • Reframe Negative Thoughts: Challenge automatic negative thoughts by questioning their validity. Would you say the same thing to a friend in your position?

  • Practice Self-Compassion: Remind yourself that you’re learning and growing. Motherhood is full of mistake-making — mistakes don’t define your worth.

  • Curate Social Media: Images and advice from "perfect" moms can trigger RSD. Take breaks or curate your feed to make sure it’s filled with realistic content and lots of moms who mess up and own it.

  • Set Boundaries: Limit interactions with people who tend to offer unsolicited advice or criticism. Unsolicited advice is just disguised criticism, so don’t hesitate to call people out when necessary.

  • Seek Support: Connect with other neurodivergent moms who understand the intersection of RSD and postpartum. Sharing experiences can help you feel less alone.

Creating a Supportive Environment

Partner support is super important. Educate your partner and family members about RSD and how if affects you.

If you’re part of a postpartum support group, choose one that aligns with your parenting values and fosters a judgment-free environment.

You’re Not Alone

If RSD is hitting you hard during postpartum, remember this: these feelings don’t define your worth as a mom. You’re figuring it out in your own way, and that’s more than enough. By finding support, connecting with others who get it, and trying out strategies that actually work for you, you can start to loosen the grip of RSD and step into this new chapter with confidence and even a little joy.

Next Steps

If you’re pregnant and preparing for postpartum, now is the perfect time to understand your risk factors and create a plan. Take the Postpartum Anxiety Risk Assessment to gain insights and start setting yourself up for success. While you’re there, explore my services designed to support neurodivergent and anxiety-prone moms who want to avoid postpartum anxiety.

Ready to take the next step? Book a call today, and let’s create a plan that’s tailored to you.

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