Hey America! I Blame YOU for My Postpartum Anxiety (And Why It's So Common for New Moms)
Lanisoh conducted a survey a few years back and the while the majority of women who participated felt prepared to care for their baby, 92% said there were parts of the postpartum period they were not prepared for. Nearly two-thirds or more were unprepared for breastfeeding, mental health concerns, lack of sleep, and physical recovery.
We’re sold a story about the postpartum period by Hollywood and the global baby product industry, with a market size estimated at over 320 billion in 2023. The global market is dominated by guess who? Yup — the baby care products market in the US rang in to the tune of USD 25.5 billion in 2023.
Our expectations are way off, and that’s one of the risk factors for postpartum anxiety and depression.
It’s no wonder so many of us out here struggling with postpartum anxiety. Why so many of us hate our husbands after we have a baby. It makes sense that we’re erupting with postpartum rage over a spilled glass of water.
In America, we live in a society that glorifies motherhood (you definitely don’t want to end up a childless cat lady) while simultaneously failing to choosing not to provide the support and resources that new moms need. This leads to overwhelming postpartum mental health challenges that most of us (me, included) don’t see coming.
Here’s just some of what we’re up against:
No Paid Parental Leave
The United States is the only developed nation that does not offer paid parental leave to its citizens. This is crazy-town, but believe it or not, one in four women go back to work less than two weeks after giving birth! And even when companies offer leave, or parents qualify for state family leave, only 30% of fathers take two weeks or more of paternity leave, leaving moms to manage on their own.
Lack of Access to Postpartum Mental Health Support
The majority of new moms in the U.S. have limited or no access to qualified mental health professionals. A 2023 report from The Policy Center for Maternal Mental Health reveals that 96% of American women live where there’s a shortage of maternal mental health providers—referred to as “Maternal Mental Health Dark Zones.”
There Is No Village for New Moms
We were never meant to do this alone. We are human beings. We are social creatures. We have lived in community with others since the beginning of time. We are not supposed to be figuring this stuff out alone, behind closed doors.
Don’t get me started.
Whoops, I Got Started
I ended up nearly writing a book, as I often do when I sit down to write, so I’ve decided to break this up into topics. There’s just too much to say for one blog post.
So, in the next bunch of posts, I’ll dig into the systemic issues that lead so many of us to experience postpartum anxiety. I’ll cover topics like:
The lack of paid parental leave and its impact on postpartum mental health.
The real cost of unpaid labor and its emotional toll on mothers.
The societal expectations that make us downplay or fully discount our worth as mothers.
Gender roles and how they shape dynamics between partners.
The underdiagnosis of neurodivergence in women and its effect on the perinatal period.
How cultural norms add to the feelings of anxiety and inadequacy felt by so many new moms.
Before I go…
I want you to know – to fully believe this in your gut – if you are struggling, it is not your fault. You are amazing. You’re doing great. Your baby hit the jackpot.
Listen, mama. Being a woman is hard. Fuck, being a human is hard. Becoming a mother is hard. Postpartum is hard. Motherhood is hard. It’s all incredible and beautiful and amazing. But it’s all hard.
And it’s even harder when you’re doing it in a late-stage capitalist dystopia! So please, try to be easy on yourself. And if you can’t be easy on yourself, surround yourself with people who will be.
Do not feel hopeless. Sure, the habits and systems we fall into during the postpartum period tend to stick. But all habits can be broken, and new habits can be built. You can do it. You have more control than you’ve been led to believe.
Stick Around!
If this resonates, join me for the weekly support group I’m hosting for neurodivergent and anxiety-prone moms. We’re real, we’re raw, and we’re here for each other.
Click the button below for info.
