Delegate Your Way to Sanity in the Postpartum Period

You’ve just had a baby (or you’re in the thick of postpartum), and you’re expected to be a superhuman. Society expects you to “bounce back” quickly, handle everything on your own (while smiling), and, of course, look pretty while doing it. 

I call bullshit.

Here’s the truth: Asking for help is not a weakness. It’s a survival skill. And if you want to enjoy being a mom, learning to delegate will save your sanity as you navigate the complexities of early motherhood. 

If you’re a new mom, you’re probably feeling the stress of trying to keep up with the pressures of motherhood. Between managing your baby’s needs, carrying the mental load, and all the expectations the world places on you, it’s no wonder you wake up looking forward to bedtime.

But the truth is that even in this villageless world we live in: you don’t have to do it all by yourself.

You Actually Can’t Do It All Alone

Let’s talk about that invisible weight you carry around. It’s called the mental load, and if you’re not familiar with it yet, you will be. It’s the neverending mental checklist in your head that no one else seems to see—restock the toilet paper, size up the baby clothes, prep the meals, scrub the floors, make the ped appointment, plan the one-year birthday celebration, manage your relationships, have sex at least once a week, and oh yeah – SELF CARE! This invisible burden sticks with you day and night, gets heavier over time, and consumes your mental bandwidth. It can even lead to postpartum anxiety.

I’d like you to give yourself permission to let some of it go.

Delegating is a Strength

It might feel like failure or weakness to ask for help, but in fact, it’s the exact opposite. Delegating makes you smart. It means that you recognize that you can’t do it all—and that’s a seriously badass move. Clearing things off your plate helps you claim the time, space, and energy to enjoy your baby (instead of just being consumed by the to-do list).

It can feel difficult to ask for help, especially when the cultural norm is to pull yourself up by the bootstraps and do it all. We live in a hyperindividualistic culture and it’s actually gross the way we have been conditioned to believe that needing community is a sign of weakness. We were never supposed to do any of this alone, especially early motherhood. But capitalism works only when we believe that leaning on others is a bad thing.

Practical Tips for Delegating Without Guilt

If the idea of asking for help sounds like a huge leap, start small, and allow yourself to be clear. Here’s how:

1. Start Small, Start Now
   If the thought of offloading everything seems overwhelming, start with something small. Maybe it’s asking your partner to take care of the laundry for the week, or asking a friend to watch the baby while you take a nap. It doesn’t have to be big, but it does need to be specific.
   
   

2. Use the Fair Play Method
   One of the best tools I recommend to my clients is the Fair Play method. It’s a simple system that helps you and your partner get clear on who’s responsible for what—taking the guesswork out of your mental load. If you’re feeling like you’re drowning and your partner doesn’t get it, this is your tool to take the reins on how to equitably divide the responsibilities of building a life together.
   
   

3. Be Specific
   Instead of vaguely saying, “Can you help out more?”, try something specific: “I really need you to [handle the meal prep] for [the next few days?]” Being clear with your needs will reduce frustration and confusion. Your partner isn’t a mind reader—you need to have conversations about what you need, and usually, they’ll rise to the occasion.
   
   

4. Give Yourself Permission to Let Go
   This is a big one. Done is better than perfect. The laundry doesn’t need to be folded exactly how you like it, and it’s okay to run the dishwasher half empty. Let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect or that there is a “right way” to do any of it, and focus on what matters most: your mental health.
   
   

Postpartum Anxiety Prevention: Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late

As a postpartum strategist and perinatal mental health specialist, I work with moms who are proactive about preventing postpartum anxiety. Prevention starts now—setting yourself up for success, delegating early, and building a strong support system are key. Along with the practical strategies I provide, I also offer placenta encapsulation services to local moms here in Cherry Hill and the surrounding areas. If you’re not familiar with placenta encapsulation, it’s a holistic way to support mood stabilization, boost energy, and enhance overall recovery during the postpartum period.

For those of you outside the South Jersey area, I’ve got you covered too! I work virtually with clients across the country, offering personalized strategies, check-ins, and ongoing support to prevent and manage postpartum anxiety.

The Power of Saying "No"

Finally, remember that you’re allowed to say no to the things that don’t serve you. No to the invitations, no to the obligations, no to the guilt. You are not obligated to do everything, and you deserve to have boundaries around your time and energy.

This spring, delegate the things that are stealing your peace. Ask for help, create space for yourself, and prioritize your mental health. You don’t have to do it all, and you’re allowed to let go of what’s not your problem.

Click here to grab my free download, The Mental Load Spring Cleaning Worksheet, here.